This morning we decided to make a batch of adorable rainbow waffles complete with yogurt honey drizzle and fresh fruit garnish. In the process we made a complete and utter technicolor mess.
Don’t let those ubiquitous rainbow-covered Pinterest pins and oh-so-simple looking Tasty videos fool you into thinking this is going to be a super easy and adorable way to wake your children come St. Patricks Day. Nosirree. Take it from somebody who took a trip over the rainbow this morning folks. Unless you can click your heels together three times to get your kitchen clean, you’re going to want to stay the hell out of Oz and surprise your kids a box of Lucky Charms instead.
Do you know how many colors there are in a rainbow? Six. There are six colors and each and every one requires its own individual bowl of batter. Plus its own spoon. This is in addition to the larger bowls required to mix your batter in the first place.
Oh, how hard can it be to wash six extra bowls and spoons, you say? It will be worth it you say. Well, please keep in mind that if you want to get your lovely, multicolored waffle batter into the waffle iron with any degree of precision you’re going to need to transfer all of it from those six bowls into six piping bags (or zippy sandwich bags). And please remember that waffle batter is NOT frosting. Its much drippier. So its going to start oozing out of those piping bags pretty quickly. And if you don’t add just the precise amount of each color of batter to that waffle iron, its going to ooze out the sides of said waffle iron and suddenly there will be a lot of oozing going on.
Also, remember that all of this mixing and transferring takes a helluva long time, during which time your two very excited pint-sized assistants have probably gotten bored and wandered off. And it is extremely likely that they’re covered in a fair amount of brightly colored waffle goo that they are now unwittingly smearing all over your couch cushions, kitchen table, the bathroom faucet and basically every other surface in your home.
At this point of course, you’re so far down the rainbow-colored rabbit hole that there’s no point in turning back. The dirty dish situation has now spread, like a virus, to the countertops and the stove so you might as well commit to this thing and add some wholesome toppings. This is also when you realize you’re out of maple syrup. So a yogurt and honey mixture is created. And you dig out every piece of semi-edible fruit lurking in the back to the crisper to create some semblance of a rainbow-colored fruit tray (screw you green fruit).
In the end, the waffles are likely to taste delicious and will be met with great enthusiasm from your assistants. You will convince yourself that the memories created while making these brightly colored breakfast confections will overshadow any yelling and cursing that may have taken place. As you enjoy the last bite of crunchy, creamy, fruit-topped deliciousness, surrounded by smiling, giggling faces, you may try to convince yourself that it was all worth it. Great art requires sacrifice after all…
On the other hand, everyone loves Lucky Charms.